October 1, 2023
God's Perfect Design for Wives
Ephesians 5
Ephesians 5:1-21
Therefore be imitators of God as dear children.
2 And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.
3 But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints;
4 neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks.
5 For this you know, that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.
6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.
7 Therefore do not be partakers with them.
8 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light
9(for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth), 10 finding out what is acceptable to the Lord.
11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them.
12 For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret.
13 But all things that are exposed are made manifest by the light, for whatever makes manifest is light.
14 Therefore He says: "Awake, you who sleep, Arise from the dead, And Christ will give you light."
15 See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, 16 redeeming the time, because the days are evil.
17 Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is.
18 And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit,
19 speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord,
20 giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,
21 submitting to one another in the fear of God. NKJV
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Wives
Ephesians 5:22-24
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.
24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands
in everything.
NKJV
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Colossians 3:12-18
Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved,
put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering;
13 bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another;
even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.
14 But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection.
15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.
16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another
in psalms and hymns
and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.
17 And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.
18 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
NKJV
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1 Peter 3:1-6
Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word,
they, without a word,
may be won by the conduct of their wives,
2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.
3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward — arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel —
4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.
5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves,
being submissive to their own husbands,
6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. NKJV
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Titus 2:1-5
But as for you, speak the things which are fitting for sound doctrine.
2 Older men are to be temperate, dignified, sensible, sound in faith, in love, in perseverance.
3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good,
4 so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,
5 to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands,
so that the word of God will not be dishonored. NASU
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Proverbs 18:22
22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD.
Proverbs 19:14
14 Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, But a prudent wife is from the LORD.
Proverbs 12:4
4 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who causes shame
is like rottenness in his bones.
Proverbs 19:13
13 A foolish son is the ruin of his father, And the contentions of a wife
are a continual dripping.
Proverbs 27:15-16
15 A continual dripping on a very rainy day And a contentious woman are alike;
16 Whoever restrains her restrains the wind, And grasps oil with his right hand.
Proverbs 21:9
9 Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, Than in a house shared with
a contentious woman.
Proverbs 25:24
24 It is better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, Than in a house shared with
a contentious woman.
Proverbs 21:19
19 Better to dwell in the wilderness, Than with a contentious and angry woman.
Proverbs 14:1
The wise woman builds her house,
But the foolish pulls it down with her hands.
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Proverbs 31:10-31
10 Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is worth more than precious rubies.
11 Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.
12 She will not hinder him but help him all her life.
13 She finds wool and flax and busily spins it.
14 She is like a merchant's ship; she brings her food from afar.
15 She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day's work for her servant girls.
16 She goes out to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She is energetic and strong, a hard worker.
18 She watches for bargains; her lights burn late into the night.
19 Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber.
20 She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy.
21 She has no fear of winter for her household because all of them have warm clothes.
22 She quilts her own bedspreads.
She dresses like royalty in gowns of finest cloth.
23 Her husband is well known, for he sits in the council meeting with the other civic leaders.
24 She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs with no fear of the future.
26 When she speaks, her words are wise,
and kindness is the rule when she gives instructions.
27 She carefully watches all that goes on in her household and does not have to bear the consequences of laziness.
28 Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her:
29 "There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!"
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD
will be greatly praised.
31 Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise. NLT
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Acknowledging the leadership position God has given your husband, wives should;
Love your husband,
Honor your husband, Respect your husband, Encourage your husband, Cooperate with your husband, Advice your husband,
Seek to meet the needs of your husband,
Believe in your husband,
Praise your husband rather than criticizing him, Forgive your husband's mistakes,
Trust your husband to do the right thing, Express gratitude for your husband.
Pray for your husband.
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Ways to demonstrate GRACE to your husband
If he has sinned against you – forgive him.
If he has violated your trust in some serious way show your love
by getting help from your pastor
or another Christian Counselor.
If he is experiencing failure,
let him know that you will stand with him, no matter what.
If he is experiencing a pressure point in his life, perhaps at work or in a decision he has to make,
encourage him with understanding.
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Ways to compliment your husband
“I am proud of you honey.”
“I love the way you love me, when you ...”
“When I saw you with one of the kids this morning, I was so encouraged when you ...”
“Yesterday, when you told me you loved me, it meant so much to me.
Thank you for expressing your love for me.”
“Thank you for providing for our family.”
“You are one of God’s richest blessings to me.”
“When you receive me, even though I hurt you, I feel safe and secure in your love.”
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A husband desires intimacy. Husbands spell intimacy --- SEX.
1 Corinthians 7:1-5
Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2 Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife,
and let each woman have her own husband.
3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
4 The wife does not have authority over her own body,
but the husband does.
And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
5 Do not deprive one another
except with consent for a time,
that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again
so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
10 Questions Every Wife Should Ask Her Husband Every Year
1) What can I do to make you feel more loved and cherished?
2) How can I best demonstrate my appreciation for you, your ideas, and your role as my husband. How can I encourage you?
3) What can I do to assure you that I hear and understand your heart’s desires?
4) What can I do to make you feel absolutely secure?
5) What can I do to insure that you have confidence and joy as we look to the future?
6) What attribute or practice would you like to see me develop or improve?
Is there something in my life you prefer I eliminated?
7) What attribute would you most like to develop in yourself? How may I help you in the best possible way?
8) Is there some accomplishment in my life that would bring joy to your heart?
9) What would indicate to you my desire to be more like Christ?
10) What mutual goal(s) would you like to see us accomplish together?
Believing that the Lord has spoken to me through you; desiring to answer in the affirmative to each request; and realizing that the answer to many of them will require specific measurable action on my part, I indicate to you by this signature, my determination to fulfill these desires of your heart.
Signed ________________________________________
Date _________________________________________